It’s a scene unfortunately familiar to many in the workplace: everything in your day goes south, your eyes well up; you discreetly sob into your hands, or exit to the bathroom.
It could be work-induced exhaustion, stress or a comment from a toxic boss that sets you off. But crying at work is an all-too-familiar scene for women and men these days.
According to a recent study from job search company Monster, eight out of 10 people have cried at work. The reasons given were the usual suspects: 45% blamed co-workers or a boss, and 15% blamed excessive workloads. Most shocking of all, only 19% attributed it to non-workplace issues.
But is it ever acceptable to cry in the workplace? Attitudes have been softening. In politics, it would once have been unthinkable for an aspiring leader to show any sign of emotional weakness. Recently, though, presidential candidate Andrew Yang was lauded for breaking down at a gun-control rally, with echoes of a similar show of emotion from former President Obama when discussing the school massacre in Sandy Hook.
Displaying emotion can actually help to build connections. And apparently, that’s exactly what our tears are designed to do. Ad Vingerhoets, author of Why Only Humans Weep, discovered that emotional tears are chemically different from tears that come from pain or chopped onions—they’re thicker and stick to the skin more strongly, and therefore more visible to see. Perfect for an Oscars acceptance speech.
Many will remember the 2003 Britney Spears interview with Diane Sawyer. It proved a tough watch as she broke down in tears reflecting on a difficult year full of heartbreak and very public personal issues. As difficult as the interview may have been to view, it created a groundswell of support for Spears as many saw the very real person behind the headlines.
And advertisers have long known the power of tears to forge an emotional bond to a brand, product or message. Some of the most memorable and hard-hitting campaigns are often tear-jerkers.
Remember Budweiser’s lost dog, which played at the Super Bowl a few years back, then went viral on social media? It reduced a nation of grown men to ugly criers. Gillette’s Handle with Care and Dove’s Real Beauty campaigns have both tapped similar veins. Meanwhile in the U.K., the department store John Lewis’s heart-pulling Christmas ads have become an eagerly anticipated annual ritual. The last ad told the story about a young boy whose parents buy him a piano…and he grows up to be Elton John.
So, if we’re comfortable shedding a few tears in front of an ad designed to make us cry, why the big deal at work? It’s a question that’s prompted an unusual solution in Japan, with the introduction of crying workshops. In Tokyo, companies have taken to holding therapy sessions where male and female staff watch sad videos to let it all out. The idea is that crying not only reduces stress, but showing off your vulnerability helps to bring people together—which is good for team building and therefore productivity.
Is vulnerability the new authentic? And is crying the ultimate demonstration of it? We’re only going to see more campaigns that show our willingness to well up. But I suspect that in some offices at least, it could be a while before we’re all okay with tears in the boardroom, rather than the bathroom.
