Climate Control

Originally posted on eurorscgpr.com.

For the record, “snowpocalypse” is not one of my favorite blurred terms. Ever since the first big storm hit the Northeast this winter—through to this week, with me in Dubai and my family in Connecticut, where power was out one night because of an ice storm and half a foot of snow is threatening as I prepare to fly home—I’ve been wondering more about extreme weather in general: Is it all part of an “inconvenient truth,” or are the Mayans to blame? (Or is it just birds falling out of the sky that’s end-of-worldly?)

In the past few years, the world has been enveloped in some rather wily weather: earthquakes, tornadoes, hurricanes and enormous amounts of snow. We’ve reached a sort of “weather anxiety,” constantly checking our phones, Wunderground.com and local news to find out what’s coming our way in real time. (Is it just me, or is the Weather Channel becoming even more tabloid-like, with online headlines like “Major Winter Storm Poised to Strike” and “Cold Has Stranglehold on South”?)

It’s certainly hard to stick to any New Year’s resolution with such inclement conditions. Who in the world wants to walk or drive to, then suffer through, a boot camp when it’s 10 below and 20 (inches of snow) above? It’s almost impossible to consider leaving the house when the TV beckons, the carbs are calling and your dog is looking at you with pleading eyes. All this snow and cold just makes me want to postpone everything, including resolution making.

During all this, the fashion world has the nerve to come out with gauzy resort collections, just as many of us are pondering how we’re going to get out of our driveways. Needless to say, online retailers rejoice during bad weather. All those hours inside surely means lots of time making purchases online. A few clicks will take you somewhere else quickly, like the beach where reality for the Michael Kors model—bronzed, glowing and posing in some flimsy, flowy dress and straw hat—means a kind of shoveling that has absolutely nothing to do with snowflakes. It’s cruel of fashion types to show us these images; how many of us can really get away right now? And even if we could, the flight delays are enough to make you rethink that week in St. Barth’s. (I hear Newark is lovely this time of year.)

Maybe our weather fixation has more to do with needing to know that we’re in control. At least if a snowstorm (or hurricane or tornado) is coming, we can prepare for it as much as possible. So maybe obsessive Weather Channel watching is one thing that can give us some comfort in these uncertain times.

Which brings me to the topic of this whole weather-watching thing in the SoMe age. Maybe those of us deep in the throes of Northeast/Midwestern bluster have a severe case of status update envy: Our friends in Miami post that it’s 80 and sunny and they’re headed for the beach. Weather has always been a favorite topic of conversation worldwide, as an icebreaker, elevator talk, dinner party fodder, business-trip rearranger. We’re all connected by our obsessive need to talk about it, know about it, dress for it—and check up on family members or get news from weather disaster zones. When will we finally see a social network for weather? Or maybe there needs to be a very effective PR campaign from Mother Nature herself, spinning this wild weather into some sort of integrated campaign that will make us all feel good inside about her inner workings.

But before that day comes, there’s always liking and following the Weather Channel, loading up your iPhone with weather from all your favorite destinations, and signing up for real-time Twitter and Facebook updates from AccuWeather stations nationwide.

Oscar Wilde once said, “Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative.” Clearly, he never experienced the sheer ambush of horrendous weather we’ve had in the past few years. Besides, it’s hard to be imaginative when your toes are frozen and you’re drawing straws with your partner over who gets to walk the dog. While pondering how to remain engaging, I’m going to tune in to the Weather Channel one more time, last refuge or not.